I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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