sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
