can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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