people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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