Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
