Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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