U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
