We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
