I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
