Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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