Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
