East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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