i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
