You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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