Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
