So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
