Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
