I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
