So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
