I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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