I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im six kinds of drunk right now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
