i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
