hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
