I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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