I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
