He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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