I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
