Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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