if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
