So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just cut my nipple shaving
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
