What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
