i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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