Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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