I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
