I wish life had little blips of pornography
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
