hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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