so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
