Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
