Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
