he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
