I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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