Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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