Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
