We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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