Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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