we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
