So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
