Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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