Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
