Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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