Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Randomize
