the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
