Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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